How to involve family members or friends who are less than average musicians.
Question How do I tell my cousin that I really prefer for her to not sing a solo at my wedding? I believe that she is expecting to sing at my wedding even though I have not even asked her. I am close to her but I do not want to hurt her feelings.
This brings up an interesting question of how to tactfully not use friends or relatives in the wedding ceremony who are mediocre musicians. You may feel obliged to use them but at the same time you really do not want them involved in your wedding ceremony. One way to handle that is to have them sing at the rehearsal dinner, the bridesmaids luncheon, or some other function that leads up to the ceremony. You could also have them assist in the wedding either by being a bridesmaid or groomsmen or to help with the guest book or the reception, etc. If they are a vocalist, then you may decide to tell them that you do not wish to have a vocalist in the wedding anyways but have decided to have an instrumentalist instead. This would let them know that you were not planning to have a soloist anyways and there would not be any hurt feelings. A couple of interesting stories I vividly remember include the time when a trumpet player sounded like a dying cow during the rehearsal and that is no exaggeration! He was an uncle of the bride and I spent 45 minutes trying to help him learn eight measures of the Trumpet Voluntary for the processional. It was a hopeless case and an embarrassing situation in which I hoped he would voluntarily step aside, but he didn’t. I had to talk with the family in a diplomatic way to let them know that this was not going to work. Another true story was a wedding that cost over a $100,000 back 15 years ago. The bride’s family was very nice and easy to work with but also wanted everything just right at the wedding ceremony. They had several musicians but there was one soloist (a friend of the bride) who sang the Lord’s prayer and whose wide vibrato sounded like a rhythmic machine gun. The song is over three minutes and it was unbelievably painful to listen to. It also took away from the dignity of the service for those few minutes. So the moral of the story is that if you decide to have friends or relatives be musically involved in the wedding, you need to make sure that you are going to be happy with the result before asking them. You may be perfectly fine for a special friend or family member who is not talented and that fine if it has personal significance and meaning for you. If they volunteer to sing or play an instrument in your wedding and you really do not want them involved, then follow one of the steps suggested above. It is not worth it to involve them if they are not up to your standard of what you have always envisioned at your wedding ceremony!
You liked this post?
Subscribte to our RSS feed follow us on twitter or simply refer this post to your friends using the share button bellow:
